For real, we need to have a serious conversation about men’s mental health because this is getting out of control. No cap – the stats are crazy and nobody’s talking about it. Let me explain it my way.

First, I must emphasize that, as I always say here, I’m not an expert in mental health, or in any way a professional in this type of discipline. Most of the things I write here are personal in nature, or self-taught research that I choose to do myself.

I always try to read and educate myself as much as possible on any topic discussed here. If you believe you need professional psychological or psychiatric help, contact your health department.

You can find online resources like 988lifeline.org or call toll-free in the United States at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) for mental health support. There are also resources available on the website.

The Projects: Where Mental Health Takes a Back Seat

Growing up in the projects hits different, and I start with this because I grew up in them, in different ones, in a totally extreme environment where you could learn the good but also the bad.

You might say “oh yeah, like everywhere else” but that term and movie is totally different when you live in the grind.

When you’re surrounded by concrete walls and your survival mode is always activated, who has time to think about mental health? As guys, we were dealing with:

  • The constant pressure to be “tough,” to not let yourself be pushed around, to always be on edge about what might happen
  • Zero access to mental health resources (because who can afford therapy when you can barely keep the lights on?) and that’s thinking about LUMA now, but guess what? It’s always been like this
  • The trauma of seeing violence and poverty daily, not just that but growing up trying to find a job and not getting it because you’re from a certain housing project
  • Having to be “the man of the house” too early, because your mother is working and you have several siblings to take care of

No offense, but society expects these guys to just figure it out on their own. How??? When your main focus is survival, your mental health becomes secondary, and that’s devastating. When you finally realize it, you’ve grown up, everything has gone unnoticed, and well, it becomes “that’s just how things are.”

The “Privileged” Ones: Money Doesn’t Buy Mental Peace

Plot twist: having a “well-structured” family doesn’t automatically mean you’re winning at mental health, and I’m referring to the preppies, the “guaynabichos” as we call them in Puerto Rico, those who have money who went to school in cars with all the luxuries. These guys are dealing with:

  • Intense pressure to maintain the family legacy, the surname, the patriarch’s business
  • The toxic mentality of “men don’t cry” (but high-class version) since with money, tears don’t appear according to them
  • Having to live up to impossible standards, an alternative reality – they grow up in this bubble where most of the world is like an Instagram photo
  • Feeling that their struggles aren’t valid because “they have everything” and that’s where it starts breaking them from within

The struggle might look different, but it’s still real.

Single Mom Warriors: Complex Emotions and Missing Pieces

Props to all single mothers, but growing up without a father figure leaves deep emotional scars. I fall into this category too – I grew up with my mom but there was that figure and we had all the siblings with me, so it doesn’t totally apply to my person. Rather, I’m talking about those who grew up with a single mother without a father figure. These guys often deal with:

  • Different trust issues, starting with the representation of that alpha figure in the family nucleus
  • Having to learn masculinity through trial and error, often turning them into hermits
  • Feeling like they missed crucial life lessons
  • Sometimes becoming their mother’s emotional support (that’s heavy), and then becoming emotional support for a partner (I’ll expand on this in another topic)

The impact? A lot of unprocessed trauma that society expects them to just handle. Not cool, but they once again fall into not talking about their emotions.

The Church Boys: When Faith Meets Mental Health

Growing up in a religious household adds another layer to this whole situation, from verbal manipulation with religious creeds and what comes with their dogmas. These guys are navigating:

  • The pressure to be “morally perfect”
  • Guilt about having negative emotions
  • Confusion when prayers don’t cure their depression
  • The struggle between faith and seeking professional help

It’s like being caught between “pray about it” and “maybe I need therapy” – and that’s a vibe we need to address.

Why We All Need to Do Better

Here’s the truth: regardless of background, men are suffering in silence because society, social networks, Netflix shows, and everything in general, made it uncool to ask for help. We need to:

  1. Normalize therapy for everyone (yes, EVERYONE) from former delinquents to the healthiest person
  2. Create more accessible mental health resources especially for men
  3. Stop with the BS of “be a man” – be a man and be a man… how about I tell you bro? “Be human!!”
  4. Have real conversations about mental health that don’t make guys feel weak

The reality is that mental health problems don’t discriminate – they just manifest differently depending on your circumstances. And until we address this properly, we’re losing too many good men to preventable pain.

Final Thoughts

No cap – this isn’t just about feeling sad sometimes. This is about generations of men carrying trauma because society said they had to. And that’s not the way. We need to do better, be better, and create spaces where men from ALL backgrounds can say “I’m not okay” without losing their dignity.

For real, I’m going to give you some tips that can help improve your mental health as a man, and most importantly, you can do it on your own. This doesn’t replace professional therapy, but these are useful tools for daily life:

  1. Daily Reflection Routine (but keep it chill):
  • Take 10 minutes before bed to write how you feel
  • Use your phone notes if you’re not feeling paper
  • No need to write an essay, even emojis or random words work
  1. Movement with Purpose:
  • Exercise isn’t just about looking good
  • Find something you enjoy: boxing, running, basketball
  • The point is to release tension and connect with your body
  • Bonus: team sports give you social connection
  1. Create Your Safe Space:
  • Could be your room, garage, or a specific corner
  • Set it up how YOU like it, not how others say
  • Use this space when you need a mental reset
  • Don’t let anyone invade that space
  1. Find Your Tribe:
  • Look for friends you can be real with
  • Join groups with similar interests
  • You don’t have to open up right away, take your time
  • Online communities count too
  1. Decompression Practices:
  • Take deep breaths when feeling pressure (nobody needs to notice)
  • Listen to music that matches your mood
  • Meditate if it works for you (there are basic apps to start)
  • Take a 15-minute aimless walk
  1. Set Boundaries (this is crucial):
  • Learn to say “no” without feeling bad
  • Don’t answer work messages after hours
  • Take breaks from social media
  • Distance yourself from toxic relationships
  1. Develop New Skills:
  • Learn something new that interests you
  • Could be cooking, playing an instrument, programming
  • Gives you a sense of achievement and control
  • Plus: keeps your mind busy with something productive
  1. Emotion Management:
  • Name what you’re feeling (there are apps that help with this)
  • Accept that it’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or fear
  • Find healthy ways to express those emotions
  • Don’t force yourself to “get over it quickly”
  1. Connection with Other Men:
  • Share experiences with other bros
  • Normalize talking about real problems, not just sports
  • Be the friend you wish you had
  • Support others when they open up
  1. Self-Care Without Shame:
  • Take care of your hygiene and appearance (makes you feel better)
  • Get enough sleep (needing rest isn’t weak)
  • Eat well (nutrition affects your mood)
  • Take breaks when you need them

Extra Tips to Keep It Real:

  • Don’t compare yourself to others on social media
  • Celebrate your small victories
  • Keep a playlist of songs that lift your mood
  • Have a routine, but be flexible
  • Remember that asking for help makes you stronger, not weaker

The key is finding what works for you. Not everything has to be intense or complicated. Sometimes the smallest changes make the biggest difference.

And that’s on periodt. 💯